


You Have Reached The Voicemail Of

by DestinyFreeReally



Series: Season 3 Emma Remembers AU [1]
Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/F, Season/Series 03
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-14
Updated: 2015-12-17
Packaged: 2018-05-06 16:03:15
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 2,110
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5423273
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DestinyFreeReally/pseuds/DestinyFreeReally
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In this AU of the mid-Season 3 weirdness Emma keeps her memories of Storybrooke even though Henry doesn't.  Probably some sadness. Calls Emma made to Regina's cell, Regina missing Henry, yeah sadness</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

     "Your call has been forwarded to..." Emma tilted the phone away from her ear, letting the sequence complete and waiting for the beep. She knew Regina couldn't answer; but she had things to say that there hadn't been time for, and even if a lot of that didn't matter now, (it didn't right?), she still wanted to  _option_ of saying them. She felt silly the first time dialing, but when the voicemail picked up she had a little hope.   
     "Hey, Regina, it's me. Emma." She added as an afterthought. She knew no one would ever hear this message. "I just wanted to call...make sure you guys are...alright. I know Henry would be worried if..." _Yeah, that's not the train of thought you want to jump on, Swan_. "I just wanted to be able to see if you're alright, which, well." She paused again, suddenly nervous for seemingly no reason. "I can't imagine what losing him must be doing to you, and I just wanted you to know, that this isn't what I would've chosen for him anymore. If it was me, losing him again, after all the good you've done to protect him...you gave him up to protect him...And our new life, just...Thank you, Regina. For letting me be this kind of parent for him; for letting us have each other. I hope you let yourself find happiness, too." And Emma hangs up, a little misty-eyed, almost surprised at how much she  _meant_ it all. It'd been a long day and she had more good days to come, with her son.  
  
  
  
  
  
     The next time Emma calls  _that_ number, Henry has the flu and it makes her chest ache that he can't remember what he needs when he's sick. Emma's sure she's a good parent, now more than ever, but she knows Regina would've comforted their son now, and she desperately wished that was a possibility.   
     "Hey, Regina, it's, um, it's me, again. I just thought you should know Henry's come down with the flu. One of his friends at school probably passed it off to him; we're in New York now," Emma finds herself explaining. Head against her headboard, she waited a beat; imagined Madame Mayor scolding her for letting their son get sick. "We have a pretty quiet life now. No magic or crazy family trees that are actually family webs. Our biggest obstacles are the flu and Henry's math tests. He's...he's really happy, Regina. Well, not at this exact moment, with a fever and stomach _thing_ but like, in the general sense, we're happy.  _He's_ happy," Emma corrected herself.  
     Regina's  _gift_ to them of a good life was really a gift to Henry that Emma had received collateral benefits of, she had to remind herself frequently. Some days she wanted to talk to Henry about...their past. But it wasn't his past now. Which was strange to her still. She found herself missing Storybrooke occasionally. Times like these when she let herself think about the whole thing. "Anyway, I wish you got to see this, got to have this with us." Emma decided she'd indulged this call entirely too long, and imagines Regina rolling her eyes at her desk at the message.  
      "Say hi to my mom for me, okay? And David. And Ruby. I still haven't found a grilled cheese like Granny's....Goodbye." Hanging up, Emma slumped into the pillow beside her, indulging in one more thing for tonight; loneliness. She'd spent a lot of her life on the road, alone, and now she had Henry, which was fantastic. But she had had a real family, real friends, for such a short amount of time. It felt selfish to want something she'd had to give up for the safety of her son. But her parents? She didn't even know how they were...she didn't even know how Regina was...What if's weren't going to help her. Not tonight, at least.   
  
  
  
  



	2. Mid-Winter's Day Dreams

    "Hey Regina it's me, again. It snowed for the first time here today and I have all these old memories of tiny Henry tracking in tiny feet-sized puddles and losing his scarf and I know they're fake for me but, they feel true. We had a lot of fun today and I... This isn't right, you know. You should've seen him; snowflakes in his eye lashes, pelting me with half-done snowballs. I don't even know why this lines still open when you guys are... Out there. I don't even know why I keep calling." Emma knew she'd talked herself out of saying everything she wanted to say, but she huffed and hung up anyway. It was getting harder to maintain both lives in her brain when really neither felt right. Living with her fake memories of Henry was living a lie; a perfect lie, but she knew it wasn't true. And living with her real memories felt like living in the past.

     For the first time in awhile her and Henry just sat, their feet propped on the coffee table, his arm barely touching hers, drinking hot chocolate with cinnamon and just enjoyed being happy. Emma was over joyed her son was happy. His happiness had been all she ever wanted to begin with. But every once in awhile she was sad and angry that she remembered their life in Storybrooke, where he didn't and she wasn't supposed to. It felt like keeping secrets from him again. 

     "Mom? What's wrong? Big case going cold or something?" Henry leaned closer to her, and she couldn't help but marvel at him. Even in this life he was older than he should've been.

     "Yeah, something like that, kid." She tucked her arm around his shoulder, maternal bliss ebbing away her doubt and.... Was that the feeling of something missing? Of course Emma missed her parents, but she wasn't sure if they fit in in this life. Regina, on the other hand, she knew she'd want to be here. For all her talk of former genocidal, matricidal, evil-doing, rage-and-grief torn Regina.... Emma knew she was a good parent to Henry, and something nagged at her that they would've been good co-parents in this life. "Only thing getting cold _right_ now is my hot chocolate."


	3. Uncertainty in NYC

     "So I've been thinking." Emma took a deep breath, with the phone in her hand. It'd been a good, regular day for her and Henry. Breakfast, school, work, dinner, homework, video games. Swan family special. "I know it was because we hated eachother and everything. Plus we felt like we had to compete for Henry. He might've even needed you to, in the beginning. And I know this is big talk, because I know it's impossible. But I think we could have worked out something domestic and appropriate with us as neighbors or roommates or something. For the kid's sake, you know." Emma felt sillier than ever. Her life was good. _Great_. Henry wanted for nothing in the world. But something bit at her that that was only because he couldn't remember Regina.

     "You, as Madame Mayor, in your button ups and whatever, and me, playing video games and helping with the math homework. It probably would've taken us awhile to settle it. Even here I wasn't a good 'bad cop' in the beginning, but Henry's a good kid, thank goodness. Eats his vegetables like your son, anyway. I don't know. I almost wish back then I would've had this clarity, you know? That it would've made sense for that kind of situation to come up, if I hadn't, and you hadn't, been trying to split Henry in half sometimes. I didn't mean to ramble like this, and you might've laughed at the suggestion, but. I guess we won't really know, will we?"


	4. Letters Unsent

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wanted to thicken this up a little, this chapter's gonna give us an update on Regina, rather than Emma just shouting into the void...

     She had tried to bury it; tried to quiet it, get it to stop  _aching._ It had nearly killed her to watch Henry go, and she was sure it would kill her to have him gone. They had been wandering the forest, trying to get their bearings, and Snow had suggested since they'd stopped for the night maybe a letter to Henry, a  _goodbye_ , would help her heal and "move on."  _Move on from my son,_ her eyes hurt from both the tears and the amount of rolling they had to do here. But she so desperately wanted to speak to Henry; it wasn't about talking to him, it was about hearing his voice. A letter felt selfish and hollow, like she did. Regina was confident she'd given her son a good life, a happy life, with no magic that he loathed or Evil Queens or curses or any of it. He didn't know her now and that _hurt_ that she had been kept from being part of his hhappiness. 

      _Dear Henry,_

Regina wavered,  in so much physical pain she could barely breathe with missing him. 

      _All I've ever wanted in this life was your happiness, your love, your smile; for your life to be as good as you are. I raised a baby, a boy, who stole my heart as I could've never predicted and my sincerest regret, among a mountain, is that I will not see the man that boy becomes. I don't need to see what my heart knows, however; that you will be a headstrong, driven, intelligent man, with every good chance in the world at a happy, uncomplicated life._

_I know you don't remember me now, nor will you ever, and in some ways that's probably for the best, too. I trust that Emma continues to put you first and loves you well. Being your mother was a gift, Henry, you were a gift, and your memory is more important to me than any castle, any magic, or anything else. Giving you up was the hardest thing I've ever done. I love you, my son._

Regina's face was crumpled into broken sobs as she neatly folded the paper and tucked the letter into the pocket of her gown. Her dark eyes sparkled with tears she knew Henry would've hated to see, and she felt lost.


	5. All's Fair In Love and Loss

     "Hey, it's me, again. It's almost spring! In like a lion and..whatever. I'm actually outside our apartment now. I wanted to sort out some...Storybrooke things without the kid overhearing."  _The_ _kid_ , a term of affection Henry didn't mind, but every day Emma thought it fit him less. He wouldn't be a  _kid_ forever and that troubled her too often. "Now that it's getting warmer I almost  _miss_ that hometown-y feel of Storybrooke, you know? We walk everywhere here or take the Subway, which I'm absolutely sure you'd disapprove of. You'd be the kind of New Yorker who takes cabs and wears heels, I swear it. But in Storybrooke everything was... _local_ , I guess for lack of a better word? Henry can ride a bike here but it's not the  _same_ , you know? Plus, do you  _know_ how tall he's getting?" Emma winged the conversation back into Henry, familiar territory. Lately she'd been swallowing bits of "Oh, Regina would..." more and more frequently around Henry. Disrupting his life now made no sense to Emma, especially since they would never see his other mother again.   
     The  _Savior_ in Emma wanted to push for another way. A  _curse loophole._ It wasn't that she wanted that life for Henry at all, because she was sure she didn't. Magic was dangerous, his own family was unpredictable, and it had been a wildly dangerous life for them. But it'd been _t_ _heir_ life, Emma's mind jabbed at her. She realized she still hadn't hung up the phone.  
     "I just wish....we could talk. The three of us, even. Henry should know you, it's wrong to keep this from him and let him live this life when I know the truth. Why couldn't you just take my past, too?" A sob threatened to crack her voice and Emma knew she'd been outside the apartment  _way_ too long to escape a Henry interrogation when she returned. "I don't mean that, I don't think. I just don't get  _why_ I still remember, why I'm still making these calls, why I feel like I'm living a lie when I'm happy with our son." And that was the problem, wasn't it? It was her and Henry, enjoying their lives, when anything could've been happening to Regina and her parents. Regina  _deserved_ to see Henry grow up, she'd sacrificed for him again and again because that was  _love_ but when had love ever returned anything it promised to Regina? Again and again Regina  _lost_ and to Emma that wasn't fair to Regina  _or_ Henry, regardless if he knew. 


End file.
